On the day the fish did not cross the sea for the first time, the first thing they saw was a Dettol ad warning that the sand they first touched contained more bacteria than a toilet seat. .

For the next 500 million years, earthly infertility advocates have worked to convince us that every surface that is supposed to be fresh water is actually going to kill us, and that you can feed your baby if you do not spray everything with Dettol. Raw chicken. Although post-study studies show that hospital clean homes are associated with allergies and uncompromising immune systems, people inside them are never exposed to the small (safe) bacteria that can help you fight more serious infections. In the future. Being too clean can make you sick.

Now, of course, we can not be clean enough, so you think Dettol will be in its component, set to barricade itself inside and dip an anti – bacterial flock for the postman. But not so. Instead, it shifts from the tone of the shrill hysteria to the encouragement of the spouse, in an attempt to bring everyone back to work.

The ads, which appeared on the London Underground Network this morning, list all the amazing things about the office that we have all lost for the past six months. Some of these are objectively horrible things, and we can all agree that they are long overdue signs of a correction in how we all work (“wearing a tie”, “plastic plants”). Others are things that people do anyway, office or not (“hearing the alarm”, “carrying a handbag”, “taking a lift”). For the most part, it ends by telling us that the best thing about going to work is getting out early, because you can’t stand another moment in that broken and virus-infested hell. Memos, jokes and reactions are as fast as you can imagine.

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We’ve got two theories about this ad, and it feels very timely when the UK corona virus infection rate starts their inevitable rise. Either Dettol collaborates with the government, and as part of a two-pronged attack to bring us all back to the city center, Prett can hit more sandwiches (the line “Don’t make lunch” is our hint here). Or Dettol, a brand that makes money from fear and insanity, wants to ensure that we all breathe into each other on busy trains, the second biggest increase in infections, so we all get scared again and buy bulk Dettol. Anyway, we hid at home, wore masks, and were going to lose everything in drinking. Especially us.

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