M.One must make a decision, and there can be no two: love or hate, heaven or hell, happiness or sorrow. The oyster leaves us no other choice, it will not be swallowed or rejected, eaten by dozens of people or ever eaten in a lifetime, it will split the minds and perhaps taste more radically than anything else that can be eaten, otherwise it is a miracle of contradictions.
It has been a favorite food of emperors and kings for centuries, while at the same time saving millions of poor demons from starvation. It’s one of the healthiest foods out there, and if it is not healthy it can ruin the health of an experienced person within minutes. Hailed as the most trusted lust maniac, she leads even the faintest love life. She has a peaceful nature that does not harm an algae, yet she is responsible for one of the most brutal conquests and migrations in the animal kingdom. How miserable the world would be without this amazingly obscure creature!
The favorite food of those who swallow women
Oysters have been a delicacy of the upper classes since ancient times. The daily record of the Roman emperor Vitalius is said to be four hundred specimens. It is known that his colleague Trojan sent clams during a campaign to Persia, frozen in snow and ice. Pliny the Elder’s oyster passion is also historically documented. Louis XIV, on the other hand, is said to have strengthened his masculinity before his wedding night with Maria Teresa of Spain, thanks to hundreds of oysters. Casanova boasted that he would eat forty oysters a day so as not to disappoint women.
Fortunately, the two princes did not know that the oyster was nothing more than a model of masculinity, but a hermaphrodite that could change gender as needed. Neither the Sun King nor those who swallowed women blamed the fact that oysters, especially small, overgrown specimens, had long been the food of the poor. In the carving “The Lean Kitchen” by the elder Peter Bruegel, slim figures with hungry oysters from a large bowl.
In 1836, Charles Dickens noted that poverty and oysters go hand in hand. In New York at the end of the nineteenth century, oysters were sold as cheap street food and as hot-dog competitors. It is said that in the United States alone, billions of copies were added year after year.
Harassment by a restaurant critic
The global oyster orgasm came to an end after the natural origin of the shellfish was significantly reduced by over-exploitation, brutal fishing methods and large bottom trolls. Since then, oysters have been a luxury product, and many human gourmets value it – snails pierce a hole in the shell with their rotten tongues, crabs break their claws, and starfish break their hands, as they know it. That oysters are as nutritious as they are delicious.
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